HSP - WHAT IS THAT?

 On Facebook March 19, 2021 Lisa Harp Hinds posted:  "I wish I could go back and tell my younger self that my dreaded sensitivity is absolutely, 100% normal, and nothing to be ashamed of. That being a Highly Sensitive Introvert means I have valuable gifts and strengths to share with the world, from cultivating meaningful relationships to finding purpose and beauty in things so many take for granted.  And perhaps most importantly, that even I struggled to find my way through this crazy world, I'm not alone."

Marissa Yates shared:  '5 things I experienced as a Highly Sensitive Introvert, that I didn't know weren't Normal'

She writes...As a highly sensitive introvert, in a split second my thoughts spider out in a thousand different directions.  For as long as I can remember, I've felt like I simply couldn't handle life as well as everyone around me.  (Marissa lists a few things and reactions she had to things around her.)  One I will share.  Who takes criticism so harshly that it can make them physically sick?  Certainly not the majority of people around me.

The conclusion that my younger self came to (and believed for years) was that the rest of the world was simply stronger than me.  How else could I explain our shared experiences but vastly different reactions?  I just couldn't hide it as well.  Right?

But once I discovered I am an 'introvert' and a highly sensitive person (HSP), I began to realize that I hadn't been judging myself against people who were stronger than me --- I had been judging myself against people who experienced life altogether differently than I did.

There are 21 signs that you're a highly sensitive person (HSP).  Marissa lists 5 things she experienced as a HSPI that she didn't know weren't 'normal' --- but are completely normal for the quieter, sensitive ones:

    1.  Every thought has an equal and opposite thought --- or
         twenty.  It took me a stream -of- consciousness style rant, 
         shocked faces, and a few long discussions for me to learn
         that this was not something most people experience.
         (overthinking is not a good thing.) 

    2.  Seemingly insignificant things can be overwhelming, like 
         a balloon popping at a party. 

         While I'm still embarrassed about how much sudden sounds 
         truly shake me up, I try to accept that it's simply my body's 
         way of reacting. Highly sensitive introverts tend to startle 
         easier, than the rest of the population. (The definition of an 
         introvert is someone who prefers calm minimally stimulating                         environments --- loud and sudden things are not our cup of 
         tea.  Being overstimulated and on high alert isn't always fun. 
         While we cannot control the way our nervous system reacts, 
         we can control how we respond to it.

    3.  Violent movies take an emotional, and sometimes physical
         toll.

         Now I know that many HSP's --- although not all, --- simply
         can't handle violent movies.  It turns out our brains respond
         very differently to witnessing violence than the brains of those
         around us.  In fact according to 'Highly Sensitive Refuge' the 
         difference is so drastic that it's as if we were watching 
         completely different movies.  On the plus side, this is directly
         related to our high levels of empathy, a quality often attributed
         to introverts, as well. 

    4.  Dreams can be incredibly, unnervingly real (which is both 
         good and bad.)

         Having vivid, intense dreams correlates with being highly 
         sensitive.  Introverts can find our dream world just as vivid
         and intriguing.  A great way of releasing dreams and their 
         accompanying emotions is to put them to a page.  A dream
         might even inspire a best selling novel.

    5.  Criticism feels like a gut punch, and it's not uncommon to
         ruminate over it (even for years). 

         It's no secret to anyone who knows me, that I struggle with
         criticism.  An off hand comment can send me spirling and
         a direct, mean-spirited attack will likely be something I think
         about for years.  Growing up, I watched my friends shrug off
         these same comments like they were nothing, while I was
         told to 'toughen up', 'stop taking things so personally, or just
         flat out 'get over it."

Once I learned I was an HSP and introvert, this began to make sense.  For HSPs, the emotional part of the brain is activated more often than others, and we have to work to take criticism through a logical lens, not an emotional one.  And thanks to our highly empathetic nature, desire to avoid conflict, and a tendency towards perfectionism, introverts can also struggle with strong reactions to criticism.

That explains why some of my friends could disregard or accept criticism without batting and eye whereas I had an immediate physical reaction.  This is especially noticeable for HSPs and introverts in group settings, such as classrooms, sports teams or work places, in which collective criticism is rampant.

I've always found myself drawn to creative pursuits, like music and writing, where criticism is deemed essential for growth and improvement. Ironically, the same emotional part of our brain and empathetic, perfectionistic nature makes HSPs and introverts so sensitive to criticism is also what makes us so passionate and successful in our creative endeavors.

Thankfully, there are many tools that HPSs and introverts can use to make dealing with criticism more manageable --- from allowing time to lend some perspective to requesting positive feedback (alongside criticism) for a more well-rounded view.

Me:  I told my daughter after reading this article, this is definitely what we are a Highly Sensitive Person and Introverts.  We have all the signs and sudden noises startles us very easily.  We have trouble dealing with criticism.  These things are not normal but we can learn to deal with our reactions and how we handle those reactions.

*Starlight*