"SURPRISE! BLOG POSTING ON A TUESDAY!"
This is probably a surprise to most of you, me posting my blog on a Tuesday. As usual I should be doing something else, but here I sit at the computer. I still have the internet, at least for now. I am sure going to miss it, when it is gone. But having it at home, makes it too easy to waste time on the computer. The part I will miss the most is being able to edit and add to my websites. One of those sites being the local church website.
I just had an urge to post something today. I don't understand why! Maybe because I was so down yesterday and I need to talk, but don't really know how to explain why or what I am down about. Many times life seems so unfair to me. Mostly in the area of marriage. I always believed God created people equally. Or was it He created Man equally? What about the women? God says in His word that He created woman as a help meet for man. What does this really mean? I know both Adam and Eve and men and women alike were to be punished for disobeying God in the Garden of Eden, but to me it seems the woman is punished the most. I know it was Eve that tempted Adam, but he could have been strong enough to reject her temptation. So they were equally at fault. I am not sure I am making myself clear in what I am saying. I know how I feel, but I don't know how to explain to someone else and get the answers I need. I am talking about answers I need, and not what I want to hear.
Another problem I am having is my husband and I do not agree on the role of a man and woman in a marriage. This has been one of our biggests problems. We have trouble talking about such things. We have been married 31 years and have 3 wonderful children. They are grown now, or atleast the two oldest are. The youngest is 17, so she is getting there. People when you are comtemplating marriage, you need to be sure you both agree on things about how a marriage should work and what the role of the man and woman should be. You should discuss and agree on how to raise your children. How you plan to punish disobedience. Talk about these things before hand. Come to an agreement and stick with it. It will save you a lot of heartache and unhappiness.
Looking back over my marriage, I see a lot of things I wish I had done differently, but it is too late to change. There are things that happened with my children that I wish I could change. I feel in many ways, I failed my children. I wasn't as good of a mother as I should have been, or even could have been. This bothers me greatly, but as I said before, it's to late to worry and fret over things that happened in the past. They cannot be changed. Some times I feel maybe I should have stayed single and not had children. I know I wasn't the most patient mother or wife for that matter. My children didn't ask to be born, I chose to have them. Or rather God chose to give them to me.
You might be wondering why I said what I did about children not choosing to be born. My youngest daughter and I have had a discussion lately about how afraid she is of finishing high school, growing up and getting out on her own. She is afraid she won't be able to handle being on her own. I can really understand where she is coming from. Her and I are a lot a like. Or like I use to be. I don't think I was as afraid as she is. Acutally I don't think I really thought about it. Although we were both shy and not very confident about ourselves. We expect our children to be outgoing, confident and etc. But we chose this life for them. They did not choose to be born. Am I making any sense?
I have been so down the last couple of days. I know one reason is I am trying to ween myself off of my anti-depressent med and do without it. I tried once before, but I just stopped taking it all at once. This time I started stretching out how often I take it. I don't have many pills left. Please remember me in your prayers. I need all the help I can get. I pray for myself almost daily. God knows my heart and I pray He will help me overcome this dependency on pills to keep me sane. Did I spell that right? Oh well, you will probably understand what I am trying to spell.
As most of you know, my family and I have been going through a tough time financially over the past few months. All because of a dumb thing I did. It would have been better, if I hadn't quit my job. I was too stressed out and fed up with how things were going. The worse part is what I became involved with after quitting my job. I realized we would miss my income, so I tried to find something to do on the internet at home to bring in a little extra. I tried many things after the one that really put a strain on things. All to no avail. I have become an Avon Representative. We will see how it goes. My mom sold Avon for over 30 years. She retired in December and I took over her customers. It has been slow getting started and I will not make as much as I would if I was a full Representative. You see, my mom sold under a Representative, and got only a percentage of the sells. That is what I am doing. I didn't want the headache of being the person fully responsible for the taxes, and etc that comes with a company of your own. I had a lot of responsibility at the Library being the Director. I no longer wanted all that comes with being in charge.
With quitting my job and staying home again after 13 years of working, it has been hard to keep at things and not get lazy. I don't want to do much of anything most days. I have put my application in at the Growing Tree Learning Center in the small town where I live. My granddaughter use to go there. I know most of the workers. I really didn't want to go back out in the rat race. I definitely don't want to be the boss or in charge. My husband doesn't want me driving very far to work. It wouldn't help if most of my income went to gas. This job would be nice. It isn't that far from my house. I don't know how soon they will be hiring, but they are in the process of taking applications right now. I pray if it is God's will, I will get a call to go to work soon.
This is one of the reasons for my depression. I have prayed about the financial situation. I put it in God's hands in the very beginning and have tried to be patient and let Him be in control. The problem is, things have drug on and things were beginning to look very bleak from my view point. It seemed as if things were getting worse instead of better. But as the old saying goes a lot of time things do get worse before they get better. I just have to continue to trust in God.
I would like to make a few more statements about a totally different subject. As most of you know I have written and been studying "Should Christians today take part in the feast days or holy days of the Old Testament?" Most of you know my views on this by now. But I was reading back over something pktgbook writer had written on his blog about the celebration of the feast days that I do not see. He made the comment that the explanation of the feast days weren't clear enough for the people in the past to understand. I don't see where he gets that. I feel the feast days were for the people in the past and not for us today. No one has ever shown or given me the scriptures in the New Testament that tell us we should keep these days and how and when to keep them or even if Paul and the seven churches kept them. Yes, there are scriptures that talk about the Passover and the the day of Pentecost, but it doesn't say they actually kept them and how to do it. I believe if they were for us today, there would be plenty of scriptures to back it up and explain it to the most common person.
One point the Church of God (7th Day) makes that I don't fully agree with is that the Calender in the Bible is too complicated for us today to understand. That isn't word for word what is stated. I am not postive the church is wrong, but as far as I am concerned whatever God wanted us to know and understand, He explained it plain enough for us to understand, if we are truly seeking the truth. I am sure the keeping or not keeping of these days will not keep us out of God's kingdom. I believe this is one of those things that has no bearing on our judgement. I pray God will show me if I am wrong in this matter.
I have been sick for about two weeks with a bad sinus infection and larengitis. I am much better today. The larengitis is gone. I am still having some problems with my ears and little bit of congestion in my throat. But Thank God, the worse is over. I hope I don't get it again. At least I didn't have the stomach virus also. God Bless you all through the rest of this week.
Starlight*
I just had an urge to post something today. I don't understand why! Maybe because I was so down yesterday and I need to talk, but don't really know how to explain why or what I am down about. Many times life seems so unfair to me. Mostly in the area of marriage. I always believed God created people equally. Or was it He created Man equally? What about the women? God says in His word that He created woman as a help meet for man. What does this really mean? I know both Adam and Eve and men and women alike were to be punished for disobeying God in the Garden of Eden, but to me it seems the woman is punished the most. I know it was Eve that tempted Adam, but he could have been strong enough to reject her temptation. So they were equally at fault. I am not sure I am making myself clear in what I am saying. I know how I feel, but I don't know how to explain to someone else and get the answers I need. I am talking about answers I need, and not what I want to hear.
Another problem I am having is my husband and I do not agree on the role of a man and woman in a marriage. This has been one of our biggests problems. We have trouble talking about such things. We have been married 31 years and have 3 wonderful children. They are grown now, or atleast the two oldest are. The youngest is 17, so she is getting there. People when you are comtemplating marriage, you need to be sure you both agree on things about how a marriage should work and what the role of the man and woman should be. You should discuss and agree on how to raise your children. How you plan to punish disobedience. Talk about these things before hand. Come to an agreement and stick with it. It will save you a lot of heartache and unhappiness.
Looking back over my marriage, I see a lot of things I wish I had done differently, but it is too late to change. There are things that happened with my children that I wish I could change. I feel in many ways, I failed my children. I wasn't as good of a mother as I should have been, or even could have been. This bothers me greatly, but as I said before, it's to late to worry and fret over things that happened in the past. They cannot be changed. Some times I feel maybe I should have stayed single and not had children. I know I wasn't the most patient mother or wife for that matter. My children didn't ask to be born, I chose to have them. Or rather God chose to give them to me.
You might be wondering why I said what I did about children not choosing to be born. My youngest daughter and I have had a discussion lately about how afraid she is of finishing high school, growing up and getting out on her own. She is afraid she won't be able to handle being on her own. I can really understand where she is coming from. Her and I are a lot a like. Or like I use to be. I don't think I was as afraid as she is. Acutally I don't think I really thought about it. Although we were both shy and not very confident about ourselves. We expect our children to be outgoing, confident and etc. But we chose this life for them. They did not choose to be born. Am I making any sense?
I have been so down the last couple of days. I know one reason is I am trying to ween myself off of my anti-depressent med and do without it. I tried once before, but I just stopped taking it all at once. This time I started stretching out how often I take it. I don't have many pills left. Please remember me in your prayers. I need all the help I can get. I pray for myself almost daily. God knows my heart and I pray He will help me overcome this dependency on pills to keep me sane. Did I spell that right? Oh well, you will probably understand what I am trying to spell.
As most of you know, my family and I have been going through a tough time financially over the past few months. All because of a dumb thing I did. It would have been better, if I hadn't quit my job. I was too stressed out and fed up with how things were going. The worse part is what I became involved with after quitting my job. I realized we would miss my income, so I tried to find something to do on the internet at home to bring in a little extra. I tried many things after the one that really put a strain on things. All to no avail. I have become an Avon Representative. We will see how it goes. My mom sold Avon for over 30 years. She retired in December and I took over her customers. It has been slow getting started and I will not make as much as I would if I was a full Representative. You see, my mom sold under a Representative, and got only a percentage of the sells. That is what I am doing. I didn't want the headache of being the person fully responsible for the taxes, and etc that comes with a company of your own. I had a lot of responsibility at the Library being the Director. I no longer wanted all that comes with being in charge.
With quitting my job and staying home again after 13 years of working, it has been hard to keep at things and not get lazy. I don't want to do much of anything most days. I have put my application in at the Growing Tree Learning Center in the small town where I live. My granddaughter use to go there. I know most of the workers. I really didn't want to go back out in the rat race. I definitely don't want to be the boss or in charge. My husband doesn't want me driving very far to work. It wouldn't help if most of my income went to gas. This job would be nice. It isn't that far from my house. I don't know how soon they will be hiring, but they are in the process of taking applications right now. I pray if it is God's will, I will get a call to go to work soon.
This is one of the reasons for my depression. I have prayed about the financial situation. I put it in God's hands in the very beginning and have tried to be patient and let Him be in control. The problem is, things have drug on and things were beginning to look very bleak from my view point. It seemed as if things were getting worse instead of better. But as the old saying goes a lot of time things do get worse before they get better. I just have to continue to trust in God.
I would like to make a few more statements about a totally different subject. As most of you know I have written and been studying "Should Christians today take part in the feast days or holy days of the Old Testament?" Most of you know my views on this by now. But I was reading back over something pktgbook writer had written on his blog about the celebration of the feast days that I do not see. He made the comment that the explanation of the feast days weren't clear enough for the people in the past to understand. I don't see where he gets that. I feel the feast days were for the people in the past and not for us today. No one has ever shown or given me the scriptures in the New Testament that tell us we should keep these days and how and when to keep them or even if Paul and the seven churches kept them. Yes, there are scriptures that talk about the Passover and the the day of Pentecost, but it doesn't say they actually kept them and how to do it. I believe if they were for us today, there would be plenty of scriptures to back it up and explain it to the most common person.
One point the Church of God (7th Day) makes that I don't fully agree with is that the Calender in the Bible is too complicated for us today to understand. That isn't word for word what is stated. I am not postive the church is wrong, but as far as I am concerned whatever God wanted us to know and understand, He explained it plain enough for us to understand, if we are truly seeking the truth. I am sure the keeping or not keeping of these days will not keep us out of God's kingdom. I believe this is one of those things that has no bearing on our judgement. I pray God will show me if I am wrong in this matter.
I have been sick for about two weeks with a bad sinus infection and larengitis. I am much better today. The larengitis is gone. I am still having some problems with my ears and little bit of congestion in my throat. But Thank God, the worse is over. I hope I don't get it again. At least I didn't have the stomach virus also. God Bless you all through the rest of this week.
Starlight*
Comments
I am sorry to hear that you are depressed. I am praying for you and your husband and will continue to do so.
This is the first time in several weeks I have done any blogging because I have been very busy. One of the things I am working on is a Bible study on the subject of the holy days. I hope to have it done in about two weeks.
You mentioned something about something I said in my book about people in the past not understanding the holy days and what they meant. What I was referring to is Old Testament Israel. They understood HOW to keep the annual festivals and holy days, but they did not understand what each festival and holy day represented. The reason they did not understand these things is that the understanding of the full meaning of many of these feasts is only revealed in the New Testament.
For example, Passover represents the sacrifice of Christ to pay the penalty for our sins so we can be forgiven by God. Old Testament Israel did not understand this because this truth is only revealed in the New Testament. Another example: the Days of Unleavened Bread represent repentance and putting sin out of our lives (represented by leavening) and putting the righteousness of Christ into our lives (unleavened bread). This meaning is only revealed in the New Testament, so ancient Israel could not have understood this symbolism.
Pentecost represents the gift of the Holy Spirit to the Church of God. We know this because that is what happened, but it was not revealed to ancient Israel that the Holy Spirit would be given on Pentecost, so they could not have known that. Nor could they have understood that those who are saved in Christ and have received the Holy Spirit are firstfruits of salvation to eternal life. They could not have understood that because eternal life was never offered under the terms of the Old Covenant.
The Day of Trumpets represents the second coming of Christ. Old Testament Israel did not even know about the first coming of Jesus Christ much less the second coming. Atonement represents the atoning sacrifice of Christ (which Old Testament Israel did not understand) and it also represents the putting away of Satan shortly after Christ returns. The Feast of Tabernacles represents the millennial rule of Christ and the Last Great Day represents the white throne judgement and general resurrection described in Revelation 20 and Ezekiel 37. None of these things were understood by ancient Israel.
My point is, if God commands that days be kept which represent certain things, would it make sense that He would have ancient Israel keep them without understanding their meaning, yet not have the Church of God keep them which is able to understand the meaning? These days should be kept by those who understand their meaning, and that can only be the Church of God.